"Death is only the beginning"

Two weeks ago I had a really good friend pass away. It was a really bad week. I felt so depressed and sick of being "not home." Because while his funeral occurred, I was hours and hours and hours away.

Things got better. People made me feel at home. I felt happy.

Then... Last monday.

There was a girl at my school who took her own life. I did not know the girl. I had no reason to be sad, right? Wrong. Very wrong.

The amount of stories that I have heard over her and how great she was brought the sorrow feelings to my mind. Why did I not introduce myself? Could I have prevented this? Etc.

In memorial, I decided it would be best to go purchase some candles and flowers (and a cross) and stick them beside the American flag to honor the girl.

But it still hurts.
It reminds me of when I tried to take my own life. When I failed. What would have happened if I failed to save myself from the grim reaper?

I don't know.
There are just a lot of thoughts in my mind right now.
If you guys could say prayers or keep in thought myself, Malachi, his family and close ones, Morgan, her family and close ones, then I would really appreciate it.

As for now I decided to dedicate this set to those passing way too soon. To those who live in a dark corner trapped in sorrow. To those still fighting. To those who survived the fight. To you, whoever reads this.

Live on.

Sophomore Year of College

Everything is set up.

All that I need to do is move back up there.

August 17th is the date that I say goodbye to Summer.

I'm disappointed to leave my family and friends again (and my dog Wrigley), but I'm so excited because I'm only a year away from meeting another point on my path of life.

At first all I think about is excitement. I get to see all the friends that I have not seen for the last few months. I also get to work more towards my fitness goals. Here I don't have gym access but there it's gifted to the students with tuition.

There is nervousness. Of course I'm worried about the work load that I'm putting myself into. A biology, anthropology, psychology, and sociology class? To me that seems like a little too much.

BUT I'm not as nervous as I could be. I have faith in myself and know that the help is there if eventually I do need it.

I also do hope that with all the classes I'm taking something clicks and I decide on another major. I'm not making a deadline for December on having a major decided, but I'm hoping that by graduation there's something at mind.

Plus I get to take a break from the intense classes with my choir involvement. Without them I think I would possibly die this semester.
Rule #1 into surviving college at NJC - Take a class with Celeste Delgado-Pelton. Her sass and personality will make you feel like you belong somewhere.

I'm so excited to also begin to work for Jesse again. I don't even look at her as a boss. She is so caring and sweet, and I'm so blessed to have the opportunity to work for her.

Bittersweet feeling's come when I think of my RA position. It's not that I'm nervous but I'm scared that I'll not satisfy my residents in the ways that Olivia and so many others did last year. I; however, have so many ideas that will make the year fun and exciting for them.

I am just so excited for December when I can look back at the previous months and be happy with the results that follow. I sense so much success coming in my path, and I know I'm ready for it.

Credit's taking: 16
Hours working biweekly: 40-50
Kickassness Level - 80%